there’s always good.

so i didnt get the job at google. yeah- i was disappointed and i could argue some inconsistencies in the process but in the end it makes no difference.

when i got the news today i was a lil’ upset and maybe even “offended,” but upon reflecting on it i realized my frustrations were not about the job itself, but rather some financial escapes i hoped to find in the job. to explain- my financial situation has gotten heavy recently. while it shoulda been stressing me out, i was relatively unconcerned as i had expectations of soon being back on the full-time work force. the skew from this expectation and the fact my financial situation became much more of a reality is what really roused my emotions. but i’m okay with it…

i’m glad i didnt get the job. two great things have come from *not* getting it. big things. important things. 1) i’ve come to realize the depths of my relationship with my girlfriend. we’ve had a bumpy path to where we are and many of the situations have caused some doubts to accummalate. this “bad luck” was a path to dissipate those doubts. my girlfriend was extremely supportive and positive during the interview process- but was even more supportive, nuturing, and caring when i gave her the bad news. i admit, i had hesitations in telling her, but her true beautiful self showed brightly in the situation. i love her so much. she’s a keeper.

and what else? instead of looking for a path to escape my financial burdons i instead decided to pull myself up by my own boot straps. while the escape route to the full-time job would’ve worked it really woudnt have taught me anything. i’m gaining something much more valuable by digging myself out on my own. i coulda wollowed in the hardships to come, but i chose to take responsibility and make things better.

i’m sadded by not being entitled the opportunity to work at what appeared to be a good place, but i’ve gained things so much more valuable to my life.

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